Names

Zambia taught me to lie, at least a little. I think most people who have known me for some time would consider me a somewhat guarded, private person. But, somewhere along the way (probably in China), that changed. So, I moved to a country where there's no such thing as "strangers" and where conversation and making friends is a perfectly fine hobby to have. That's just great, except when I don't get to choose who my friends are and when they show up. I learned the hard way that being honest with strangers, especially about where you work and live or what your address or phone number is, is a very stupid thing to do. I'm not really in the habit of giving out my personal data so easily, but I'm also not accustomed to being asked point blank, "Where do you stay?" "Where do you work?" "What's your name?" Especially when the asker is clearly drunk or old and of addled brain.

There are some good stories to go along with my stupid mistakes of telling the truth after being caught off guard by a personal question, but those will have to wait.

Instead, here are some of the lies I managed to come up with.

Name? Mwape, Faith, Charity, Marie, or whatever popped into my brain most recently. Ever wanted to get a whole bus to roar with laughter? Let the white girl on the bus say her name is "Mwape". That gets them going.

Do you stay this side? No, no, I'm visiting a friend.

Where do you stay? Other side. (Apparently, this completely unclear response is perfectly acceptable and understandable to a Zambian. I, however, didn't even understand it when I gave it.)

Where do you work? Oh, I work at ZNBC. Oh, I work for a bank. I don't have a job. I'm a volunteer (the one word that people seem to understand and will accept quickly. Thanks PC Zambia!)

Are you married? Yes.

How long? For three years.

Do you have children? No. (Well, that's true. Sometimes the truth is just easier.)

They aren't so creative to say the least, but I learned to quickly and confidently respond with anything BUT my real information!